panurge entériné

Spanish designer Isabel Mastache introduced these devices at Cibeles Madrid Fashion Week for Fall 2010. Be it prosthetic or protective, their martial fashion vindicates the position of Panurge:

Au reguard du hault de chausses, ma grande tante Laurence jadis me disoit, qu’il estoit faict pour la braguette. Je le croy, en pareille induction, que le gentil falot Galen lib. 9. de l’usage de nos membres, dict la teste estre faicte pour les yeulx.
—François Rabelais, Tiers livre des faictz et dictz Heroïques du noble Pantagruel, Chapitre 7: « Comment Panurge avoit la pusse en l’aureille, & desista porter sa magnificque braguette. »
In what concerneth the breeches, my great-aunt Laurence did long ago tell me, that the breeches were only ordained for the use of the codpiece, and to no other end; which I, upon a no less forcible consequence, give credit to every whit, as well as to the saying of the fine fellow Galen, who in his ninth book, Of the Use and Employment of our Members, allegeth that the head was made for the eyes.
Gargantua and Pantagruel, The Third Book, Chapter VII: “How Panurge had a flea in his ear, and forbore to wear any longer his magnificent codpiece.” Translated into English by Sir Thomas Urquhart of Cromarty and Peter Antony Motteux.

By parity of reason, the hand was made for the penis, whereby handspan coordinates with phallic girth, and we may rectify them both in one fell swoop.