soulless cunt


Subject: mz
From: cthroo@hotmail.com
Date: Thu, 24 Feb 2005 19:18:30 -0800
To: cthroo@hotmail.com

We Are Couple
Miss you
like never before
it is not something of hope
in the end of the world
we lend heat to each other
we are couple
we are all damaged somehow
hoping to find a way to survive the world
only i am more blindly opmistic
you are a luxurant book of death
sound scarely dark
that was why I run
i run
i can not run away from missing you

    Would you like to know why you feel this way? Allow me to explain.
    I am thinking of the occasion of your calling me a soulless cunt. For all my anger, I was charmed by your linguistic shift. The common designation of a heartless bitch might have been more to the point in returning the favor. The point is not to gainsay your feelings. Every living woman feels something or other. Accusing her of lacking a heart is not meant to set her apart from the herd in this regard. It is meant to point out her failure to feel responsibly.
    You prattle on and on about my affinity with death. You tell me that you want me dead. Others have accused me of composing suicide notes. Nothing going. My sense of responsibility encompasses the stewardship of my gifts. I will not quit my station wilfully. But neither will I suffer your flippancy in silence.
    You stalked me for eighteen months and came to me as a booty call. Then you took umbrage at my efforts to accommodate you in the vaginal line. You praised my genius while refusing to make any accommodation for my standing apart from salarymen. You deemed me unmarriageable while doing everything within your power to foreclose the chances of marriage. You blamed my father for your choice to abort our child, and blamed me for exhausting him unto death, and you into hysteria. You make it impossible for a man to love you, then feign surprise when he tries to hate you. And then you complain. You complain that you miss me terribly. You cannot explain and you cannot forget. Maybe you like pain? Maybe you hate yourself also? Pain is always more real than happiness, and you believe it is true for everybody. It is impossible for you to fall in love with anyone new no matter how much you wanted. It is almost like you fell in love with someone on the moon. But my closeness deep in your soul can in no way be compared with anybody else you know. In the darkness and night, I am in your heart, I am part of you. I might have been living your life; was that why you felt so close to me? That is your story. But you have no guts to stick to it.
    Do you have the guts to do anything right by anyone else? When was the last time you acted responsibly towards me? Four times in our relationship I gave you plenty of room for a graceful exit. You whined and cajoled and manipulated me into taking you back. The last time you did it after my father’s death. What was your excuse? You never bothered to make one up in evincing the meremost inkling of shame upon being confronted with this evidence of your selfishness. Far from being “blindly opmistic”, you are plain blind.
    I kept believing that there is something in you, and between us, worth salvaging. I had to believe it as an alternative to reinterpreting you as a black star that radiates her suffering upon everyone unfortunate enough to be drawn into her orbit.

That is why you infuriated me in purporting to wish well. Nothing in your behavior at every critical juncture of our relationship left room for a no fault dissolution. There is no question in my mind that I bear my share of responsibility for this noisome predicament. But I always acknowledged my part, and made many efforts to change my ways, and achieved many improvements in my conditions and prospects. Whereas your main contribution has been to lay all blame at my feet, even as you mused about your masochism as if it were a universal aspect of human sexuality.
    I think not. I offered you plenty of chances to see things my way, by choosing happiness over pain. Your refusal defines your character in one fell swoop. There will be no going back.

one down, two to go

    In the U.S., Min Zhu is just another e-business entrepreneur. But back in his China homeland, he has attained celebrity status as a native son who overcame poverty to achieve wealth. In his 20s, Zhu, along with many other Chinese intellectuals, was forced to work on a farm for seven years, as the government attempted to get the country’s intelligentsia “reeducated” into the appropriate communist mindset.
    As soon as Beijing relaxed its grip on the citizenry, however, he was one of the first Chinese to leave for the U.S. After earning a degree in engineering from Stanford University, Zhu found a partner from India, Subrah Iyar, and started WebEx, now the world’s largest Web-conferencing company, in San Jose, Calif.
    Unlike most Web entrepreneurs, Zhu, 54, and Iyar, 45, didn’t see their Silicon Valley dream rise to the sky only to collapse. In fact, their disciplined management allowed the business to go public in the difficult environment of mid-2000. This year, WebEx became profitable, and that could be just the start.
    ― Subrah Iyar and Min Zhu: Meetings on the Web, Olga Kharif, Business Week, October 1, 2002

    The culture and success of WebEx, which dominates its field, reflects the drive and frugality that has propelled Zhu since he emerged from the years of planting, harvesting and hauling rice from 2 a.m. to 8 p.m. every day of the week.
    “He is forever trying to catch up on those seven, eight years that he feels he lost,” said Subrah Iyar, WebEx co-founder and chief executive. […]
    Zhu is mindful of the difficulties his company faces. He is always thinking of the next step ― some say, the next four steps. Zhu envisions WebEx technology transforming how the world communicates through home phones, cell phones ― even TV.
    ― Driven to succeed: WebEx Co-Founder Brings Homeland Work Ethic To The High-Tech World, John Boudreau, Mercury News / SiliconValley.com, Sunday, May. 30, 2004

    While many Chinese who come to the U.S. eventually get U.S. citizenship, Zhu carries a Chinese passport (one reason that he is eligible for our list of China’s richest). He says he still feels strongly about the land he was raised in, and wants to overcome what he says is longtime discrimination about being Chinese ― a feeling that is a big part of the Chinese psyche today.
    Recalling a trip with American colleagues to Singapore a decade ago, Zhu says he was stopped and asked to wait for an hour at customs while his American colleagues were given a quick OK to pass through. The reason, he believes, was all Chinese were suspected of smuggling.
    “It was very insulting to me, and I had already undergone a lot of humiliation in my homeland too” during the Cultural Revolution, he says.
    Today, when Zhu pulls out his China passport, people respond differently. “This is the way I want to win,” he says. “I want to be proud.”
    ― China’s Richest: Rice Fields Yield Internet Riches, Russell Flannery, Forbes, 11.04.04, 6:30 PM ET

    Yahoo! has removed all postings made under my former business name of ptyx. The management is entitled to run its private space as they see fit. However, every honest man benefits from free exchange of information. This board is only as effective, as it is open to criticism. Accordingly, I am reposting relevant facts documented in court records and sworn testimony.
    Erin Zhu, the daughter of WebEx founder Min Zhu, has complained of having been repeatedly molested by her father at the age of 14, from at least 1991 until at least 2003. Her earliest public complaints can be accessed via Google Usenet search for the terms “Erin Zhu sexual abuse”. They relate that Min deflowered her, and that his doing so fit within his general pattern of abusing his family members. In 1999, Erin complained to the German pop musician Blixa Bargeld, whom she subsequently married, about her father having “devoured [her] with his lust”, and promised that she “will not be a monster like [her] father”. In 2000, Erin presented a complaint for child abuse to her father. This complaint had been prepared in my presence and with my assistance, from a transcript of her interview that I witnessed. It was taken by the law office of David W. Affeld, who in a gesture of friendship agreed to represent Erin for a contingency fee of 2.5% of her recovery. All of these documents have been entered into public record as exhibits in several cases filed against the Zhus and WebEx in the Santa Clara Superior Court. These case files contain sworn declarations by people to whom Erin had volunteered graphic details of her rape. In 2003, Erin testified in deposition that Min molested her when she was 14 years old. The extent of this molestation is subject to discovery in the WebEx libel lawsuit pending against me in the Los Angeles Superior Court.
    Erin’s family settled her claim with numerous payments, made both through her lawyer and in secret. They tried to circumvent the nominal contingency fee that she owed to her lawyer, and to prevent her from repaying her debts to other parties. In dispensing hush money to their daughter, the Zhus used their own funds, as well as WebEx assets. In short, WebEx and the Zhus diverted shareholder assets towards a child rape coverup. This diversion continues in their mendacious libel prosecution.
    Since I made these disclosures, Min Zhu has stepped down as WebEx President. He has announced his impending “retirement” as WebEx CTO. That is not enough. I am posting in response to death threats made against me in the names and on the behalves of Min Zhu and WebEx. The facts suffice to conclude in good faith that Min Zhu is a daughter rapist who uses WebEx shareholders’ assets to cover up his crimes. This conclusion neither involves nor relies upon rhetorical hyperbole that amounts to defamation under law. I reached it through investigation, ruling out negligence that contributes to defamation under law. The daughter rapist violates his highest duty as a man and a father. Child rape by an officer and director of a publicly traded company raises issues far beyond a personal vendetta irrelevant to public concerns under law. Drawing responsible conclusions from matters of public record is Constitutionally protected speech. I will continue to do so until and unless the Zhus and WebEx make amends for threatening my life. I will not tolerate their threats in silence. Information wants to be valuable. Nothing will stop this story from reaching every WebEx client, investor, neighbor, and employee. It will shape their dealings with WebEx. Manage your money accordingly.
    ― Yahoo! Message Boards: WEBX, Msg 35868 by helicalenzyme, 01/25/05 10:39 pm

    They wanted Hop Sing
    But they got Willie Long.
    A slight and regrettable
    Slip of the Tong.
    ― Yahoo! Message Boards: WEBX, Msg 35732 by gloufam, 01/14/05 07:59 am

    One more word on the subject….. shenkui.
    ― Yahoo! Message Boards: WEBX, Msg 35765 by gloufam, 01/17/05 12:55 pm

    2nd Day of WebEx User Conference Cancelled Due to Protester
    The WebEx User Conference and Partner’s Summmit was abruptly canceled today due to an individual, without any affiliation to WebEx, “protesting” against WebEx outside the Westin St. Francis in San Francisco yesterday afternoon. A Russian rifle and ammunition were found in his car, and he was then detained and let go without his weapons. Evidently, the “protester” in question has had a grudge against WebEx, and WebEx thought it best to cancel the remainder of the conference, attended by about 350 WebEx users.
    WebEx pointed out that security was of prime concern to its customers, partners, and employees, and indicated that it would continue the rest of the conference via WebEx within two weeks.
    ― ConferencingNews.com, Breaking News, posted on May 3, 2005

    WebEx User Conference
    Presentation cancelled
    I came back last Wednesday from a week of travel at the WebEx User Conference in San Francisco, what an unusual experience!
    I was scheduled to speak on Tuesday, but woke up to find a note under my door that the conference was cancelled because a protestor with guns was outside the event and was consequently arrested Monday night.
    The first two days of the conference were a success and it’s a shame that an unstable person with a random grudge can ruin an event that affects the livelihood of WebEx’s 1800 employees. (Please note, my presentation will be delivered via WebEx in the coming weeks.)
    Maybe next year they could rent a private island to avoid problems in the future. I am sure the other attendees would be all for it…what do you think?
    ―ConferZone, posted on May 10, 2005 by Stephanie Downs

    WebEx co-founder Min Zhu has retired as chief technology officer and a director. Zhu is relocating to China and will become a WebEx Fellow.
    ― WebEx Press Release, Friday May 13, 2005, 10:39 am ET

    “Min is undeniably the pioneer of real-time collaboration,” added Iyar. “His technical vision, strategic insight and inspired leadership have transformed the way companies around the world conduct business. With our seasoned management team in place, Min is free to retire from day-to-day operations.”
    ― WebEx Press Release, Friday May 13, 2005, 8:53 am ET

    Can you spell EXTRADITION ? The bod no longer has to watch “All In The Family” reruns, or “Chinatown” for that matter.
    The PORK SWORD is not mightier then the pen.
    ― Yahoo! Message Boards: WEBX, Msg 37013 by gloufam, 05/13/05 11:55 am

the rotten face

― for Tal Kubo    

    People partake of communities in virtue of elective favors. Politeness is the key to the community spirit. Politeness is more demanding than morality. Morality is more demanding than law. Thus law enjoins its subject from pushing a naked woman off a bridge, whereas morality encourages him to pull her out of the water, and politeness requires him to avoid leering whilst she strives to dry her pubic hair.
    Men imbued with community spirits go out of their way to be law-abiding with the authorities, moral with civilians, and polite with deserving parties belonging to the communities of their choice. When their neighbors seek information, they try to formulate an authoritative answer. When their neighbors seek material assistance, they try to provide it within their means. When their neighbors overstep the bounds of civility, they try to avoid boorishness and banality in guiding them back. Continue reading the rotten face

situation de valéry

    Les pages qui suivent sont un commentaire pour la conférence sur Baudelaire lue par Paul Valéry à Monaco le 19 février 1924. Une étude d’importance historique considérable, Situation de Baudelaire touche à toutes grandes questions de la poétique de Valéry autant que de celle de Baudelaire. Bien que le poète fût contraint à simplifier sa pensée par le caractère officiel des circonstances de la présentation de ce texte, on peut y trouver des abondants témoignages de l’étendue et de la profondeur de sa philosophie de la théorie littéraire. D’ailleurs, grâce à son importance critique, ce texte peut être regardé comme contenant les prolégomènes à toute étude baudelairienne. Ces pages sont donc destinées à servir d’une préface à ma propre étude sur Baudelaire. Par conséquent, je remarquerai sur quelques similarités et différences entre les deux poètes. Continue reading situation de valéry

what keeps mankind alive?

    Let us get our priorities in order:

    Zweiter Dreigroschenfinale     Second Threepenny Finale
    Macheath:
Ihr Herrn, die ihr uns lehrt, wie man brav leben
Und Sünd und Missetat vermeiden kann
Zuerst müßt ihr uns was zu fressen geben
Dann könnt ihr reden: damit fängt es an.
    Macheath:
You gentlemen who think you have a mission
To purge us of the seven deadly sins,
Should first sort out the basic food position,
Then start your preaching! That’s where it begins.
Ihr, die euren Wanst und unsre Bravheit liebt
Das eine wisset ein für allemal:
Wie ihr es immer dreht und wie ihr’s immer schiebt
Erst kommt das Fressen, dann kommt die Moral.
Erst muß es möglich sein auch armen Leuten
Vom großen Brotlaib sich ihr Teil zu schneiden.
You lot who preach restraint and watch your waist as well,
Should learn, for once, the way the world is run:
However much you twist, whatever lies you tell,
Food is the first thing, morals follow on.
So first make sure that those who now are starving
Get proper helpings when we all start carving.
    Jenny:
Denn wovon lebt der Mensch?
    Jenny:
What keeps mankind alive?
    Macheath:
Denn wovon lebt der Mensch? Indem er stündlich
Den Menschen peinigt, auszieht, anfällt, abwürgt und frißt.
Nur dadurch lebt der Mensch, daß er so gründlich
Vergessen kann, daß er ein Mensch doch ist.
    Macheath:
What keeps mankind alive? The fact that millions
Are daily tortured, stifled, punished, silenced, oppressed.
Mankind can keep alive thanks to its brilliance
In keeping its humanity repressed.
    Chorus:
Ihr Herren, bildet euch nur da nichts ein:
Der Mensch lebt nur von Missetat allein!
    Chorus:
For once you must try not to shirk the facts:
Mankind is kept alive by bestial acts.
    Jenny:
Ihr lehrt uns, wann ein Weib die Röcke heben
Und ihre Augen einwärts drehen kann
Zuerst müßt ihr uns was zu fressen geben
Dann könnt ihr reden: damit fängt es an.
    Jenny:
You say that girls may strip with your permission.
You draw the line dividing art from sin.
So first sort out the basic food position,
Then start your preaching! That’s where we begin.
Ihr, die auf unsrer Scham und eurer Lust besteht
Das eine wisset ein für allemal:
Wie ihr es immer dreht und wie ihr’s immer schiebt
Erst kommt das Fressen, dann kommt die Moral.
Erst muß es möglich sein auch armen Leuten
Vom großen Brotlaib sich ihr Teil zu schneiden.
You lot who bank on your desires and our disgust
Should learn for once the way the world is run:
Whatever lies you tell, however much you twist,
Food is the first thing, morals follow on.
So first make sure that those who are now starving
get proper helpings when we all start carving.
    Macheath:
Denn wovon lebt der Mensch?
    Macheath:
What keeps mankind alive?
    Jenny:
Denn wovon lebt der Mensch? Indem er stündlich
Den Menschen peinigt, auszieht, anfällt, abwürgt und frißt.
Nur dadurch lebt der Mensch, daß er so gründlich
Vergessen kann, daß er ein Mensch doch ist.
    Jenny:
What keeps mankind alive? The fact that millions
Are daily tortured, stifled, punished, silenced, oppressed.
Mankind can keep alive thanks to its brilliance
In keeping its humanity repressed.
    Chorus:
Ihr Herren, bildet euch nur da nichts ein:
Der Mensch lebt nur von Missetat allein!
    Chorus:
For once you must try not to shirk the facts:
Mankind is kept alive by bestial acts.
    — Bertolt Brecht / Kurt Weill, Die Dreigroschenoper     — translation by Ralph Manheim and John Willett

    More precisely, albeit less lyrically: Erst kommt das Fressen, dann kommt das Getränk, dann kommt die Moral. Therein lies a morality tale:

    The teacher gave her fifth grade class an assignment: get their parents to tell them a story with a moral at the end of it. The next day the kids came back and one by one began to tell their stories.
    Kathy said, “My father’s a farmer and we have a lot of egg-laying hens. One time we were taking our eggs to market in a basket on the front seat of the pickup when we hit a bump in the road and all the eggs went flying and broke and made a mess.”
    “And what’s the moral of the story?” asked the teacher.
    “Don’t put all your eggs in one basket!”
    “Very good,” said the teacher. “Now, Lucy?”
    “Our family are farmers too. But we raise chickens for the meat market. We had a dozen eggs one time, but when they hatched we only got ten live chicks. And the moral to this story is, don’t count your chickens until they’re hatched.”
    “That was a fine story Lucy. Johnny, do you have a story to share?”
    “Yes, ma’am, my daddy told me this story about my uncle Bob. Uncle Bob was a Green Beret in Vietnam and his helicopter got hit. He had to crash land in enemy territory and all he had was a bottle of whiskey, a machine gun, and a machete. He drank the whiskey on the way down so it wouldn’t break and then he landed right in the middle of 100 enemy troops. He killed seventy of them with the machine gun until he ran out of bullets, then he killed twenty more with the machete till the blade broke, and then he killed the last ten with his bare hands.”
    “Good heavens,” said the horrified teacher, “What kind of moral did your daddy tell you from that horrible story?”
    “Don’t fuck with Uncle Bob when he’s been drinking.”

the philosopher’s curse

    It befits a man to live out his disease. Michael calls it The Philosopher’s Curse: being immeasurably better suited to dismantling enterprises than constructing them.
    He recalls being accosted in the Union Square on the second night of his protest. One of his inquisitors is a strategic partner of WebEx.
    — What do you think you have accomplished?
    — Proof positive that a child molester cannot have his way with a 47 year old man through the means that compel a 14 year old girl.
    — Are you out to uphold abstract justice?
    — Not in this instance. The victim has aligned herself with her rapist. In fact, she seems to have persuaded herself to enjoy her father’s sexual abuse while it was taking place. I don’t care if they swive happily ever after.
    — So why are you doing it?
    — Because I refuse to live my life with the expectation of a threat executed by an incestuous sociopath. I am a Russian Jew. Over half of my immediate family suffered violent death. I am determined to resist following their pattern.
    — How will you do it?
    — Self-defense is an art I cultivate. I will not strike the first blow. Till then, the peaceful means at my disposal will suffice to oppose the threat. As they say in the old country, if the enemy fails to surrender, he gets destroyed.

the sinking ship

    The WebEx User Conference has expired with a whimper today, in response to a peaceful demonstration by Michael Zeleny against the company that covers up for degenerate daughter rapist Min Zhu. Michael has enjoyed seeing this discount Goliath back out with his tail tucked. Some leftover props from his picket remain in his possession. The line forms at the left for these genuine memorabilia of the next dot.com implosion.

    Popular media remain under the cone of silence. Michael will not go gently into that good night. What do you expect to happen once his action reaches the tipping point of popular attention?
    Michael had words with several WebEx employees. The rank and file were curious and supportive. They furtively sought Michael’s leaflets and shared tales of white collar crime. The security detail was sheepish. They stuck to his tail like dingleberries, their name badges reversed, taking pictures and whispering into walkie-talkies. The bolder among them volunteered opinions. Michael might have been threatened in the names of WebEx and Min Zhu by their competitors. By the same token, O.J. Simpson might really be looking for Nicole’s killer on those golf courses. Surely Michael is mixing up personal issues with business. By the same token, he was not the first to interbreed these pursuits. As the troops retreated, Michael saw an important character kvetching to the cop assigned to keep the peace at the Westin St. Francis. He asked his victim to confirm being Bill Heil, Min Zhu’s replacement as WebEx President. The sorrowful executive acknowledged his identity and asked Michael for his name. Michael played along by introducing himself. Then he told Heil that this issue would end only by WebEx talking to him. An act of contrition is in order. Michael expects nothing of the sort, but it is gratifying to think that every step along the way will leave his adversaries with retrospective misgivings over not having cried uncle sooner.
    The hotel looked to have at least 1/3 of its nearly 1,195 rooms taken by conference attendees. The conference fee was a little shy of $600. That makes for a quarter million dollar loss on the WebEx balance sheet. For starters.

the loaded gun

    Whilst peacefully picketing the WebEx User Conference in front of the Westin St. Francis hotel in the Union Square on May 2, Michael Zeleny and his faithful dog Cosmo both have been detained for questioning and psychological evaluation by the San Francisco Police Department and San Francisco animal control, respectively. As of this writing, the tests came out negative for Zeleny, determined fit to be released on his own recognizance. Cosmo remains in custody pending the determination of charges against him.
    According to Sergeant Catanzaro of the San Francisco Police Department, this turn of events came about after the hotel management had broken into the locked trunk of Zeleny’s car to find an unloaded semiautomatic SKS rifle stored therein in compliance with the law. An unloaded and encased SIG P210 handgun that Zeleny had entrusted to the hotel management for safekeeping has been confiscated by the San Francisco Police Department. These actions are said to have been taken as a result of WebEx management requesting an all-purpose scrutiny of Zeleny.
    Prior to their demonstration, Zeleny had informed the San Francisco Police of independently witnessed and documented threats made against Zeleny’s and Cosmo’s lives in the names of Min Zhu and WebEx.
    The San Francisco authorities have evinced special concerns regarding the passenger compartment of Zeleny’s car containing a copy of the Deluxe Edition of Eminem’s album Encore, accompanied by photographs depicting the entertainer shooting assorted members of his nightclub audience with a toy handgun, then putting its muzzle to his head to produce a graphic mockup of a bang.


    The same authorities conspicuously chose to overlook the threat implicit in Zeleny’s possession of a penis, carried on his person loaded and encased in his clothing.
In contradistinction from the device presumably possessed by Min Zhu, Zeleny’s male member has never been accused of serving as the centerpiece implement of rape.
    Zeleny’s protest is scheduled to resume at 9 a.m. on May 3.